Oscar Time 2009

Happy, happy, joy, joy. Three cheers for Oscar night!! (Wasn't it WONDERFUL? Love me some Hugh Jackman. But I digress...)

First cheer: I rocked my Oscar pool. Haven't gotten an update as to the winners, but I got 19 out of the 24 categories correct (last year I was an all-time low 13 for 24, and I was 18 for 24 in 2007.)

Second cheer: Anyone mind if I do a dance for Slumdog Millionaire? I LOVED that movie. If you haven't seen it yet, consider this a shove out the door to the multiplex. You'll want to see it in a theater, unless you are so fortunate as to have one of those home theater setups with the wicked surround sound, etc. This is a movie that transports you to India. You won't want to be distracted by neighbors, the phone, or your laundry while you watch on DVD at three in the afternoon.

Third cheer: The GOWNS! This was a prime Oscar year. Very few misses, so I'll get them out of the way right off the bat.

Apologies to the ever-lovely Jessica Biel, but her off-white gown was Not Good. It looked like someone took took care with her hair and makeup. Then, a nasty stylist came in afterward and thought Jessica looked too pretty. In a jealous fit, the stylist wrapped a very fancy bedsheet from the Ritz-Carlton around Jessica, tucked it up with a few folds in the front, and carefully explained (cough-lied-cough) that the sheet-waterfall look was "the latest thing." She then shoved Jessica out the door, stifling a maniacal laugh as JB tripped over the hem getting into the car.

The dress Jessica wore to host the Sci-Tech Awards last week was much better, a multi-colored, but simple strapless number. Though awfully reflective in photos, I bet it looked better in person. And she could walk without tripping on it.


My other Worst Dressed Female for 2009 must go to Whoopi Goldberg. I swear I could see her bra (and part of its contents) peeking out the top while she was presenting. Still, even assuming the girls were tucked away where they belonged, you tell me. I think she could do much better than an ill-fitting, too-low-in-front leopard print.


Of course, I immediately consulted both the E! Fashion Police and my fave Fuggers to see if they agreed. (They did.) But they liked one dress (for the most part) that I just couldn't love. Did you see Heidi Klum in red?

To me, the color worked. The cutout in the back worked. The bow worked. The leg slit worked. The top kind of worked. However, all these things did not work together. It was too much. I say keep the color (Heidi can rock red), keep the back cutouts, keep the leg, but lose the origami top and the butt bow. What do you think?

(Ditto Reese Witherspoon. Either black with the funky cut, or blue with the funky cut. Not all three at once.)


WHEW. So on to all the good stuff (and there was plenty of good stuff!) First, oh, how I loved Angelina Jolie. True, it was black. But it showed off her figure, and didn't look like the matronly swoops of fabric we've seen on her lately.


Other faves: Freida Pinto (fabulous vibrant blue), Best Actress nominee Melissa Leo (great fit, pretty, and the bronze suited her coloring), and Marisa Tomei (funky but classy.) I also LOVED Anne Hathaway's ivory gown, though from certain angles, it seemed loose in the bust, as if someone taller than her could look right down and see everything. However, I doubt too many people are that much taller than Anne Hathaway, especially when she's wearing killer heels.

There were LOADS of great gowns, so it's hard to pick my favorites. But these two topped my list. My  Best Dressed Women were Natalie Portman in her strapless, well-fitted pink and Penelope Cruz in a gorgeous beaded white gown.  I generally don't go for pink, but Natalie Portman's simply rocked. Penelope Cruz's look was a mesh of sultry Sophia Loren and glamorous Grace Kelly.

I'm also going to name a Best Dressed Man this year. Mostly because while I was watching the Oscars, I made my husband come to the TV so I could point out exactly how I think a guy should look on the red carpet.  And I pointed to Robert Downey, Jr.  Even if my husband said something along the lines of, "Um, okay," before going back to whatever he was doing on his computer, I thought his tux, hair, and shoes were spot-on perfect. Downey's wife, Susan, looked amazing, too, in her soft, melon-y orange. (And their happy-to-be-together smiles get them extra bonus points.)

Finally, I must mention Heath Ledger's win. He was a phenomenal, multi-dimensional Joker, and I think he'd have won the Oscar regardless of the attention his unfortunate, way-too-early passing brought to his performance. Valerie (the Oscar-loving, Heath-obsessed character from Royally Jacked and its sequels) would have been doing the biggest happy dance of all.

So what do you think? Who was a hit? Who missed? (And though I won't post it here, did you get a look at Sharon Stone's R-rated see-through dress?! Google it if not. It would have been wonderful if it wasn't transparent. But as is, I howled with laughter.)